21 Aug

I was thinking this morning how a more traditional division of labour in families means that mothers experience most of the emotional impact of their child growing up.

Some of my daughter’s friends are now 4 years old, which means it’s the season of goodbyes at nursery. Her first best friend was there for her both of the times she progressed to a new group at nursery (there are 3 age groups at her nursery), which I know she liked, and it also greatly reassured me to know she’d definitely have a friendly face to greet her in the mornings and show her the ropes. Her friend even used to take her to the toilet when the grownups were too busy (hmm, that’s a whole other story!).

So I’m getting a real heavy-hearted feeling this week knowing that after tomorrow my daughter will probably never see her friend again after seeing her almost every day for two years.

Next year it’ll be my daughter’s turn to start school. Obviously it’ll be a massive change for her. And in addition I will lose the four-days-a-week routine of seeing the same people and feeling part of the nursery community. I’ve already lost the pushchair phase as my daughter is now finally too big not to walk, the sling phase ended a long time ago, and soon life as we’ve known it for two years will change completely.

So my daughter’s growing up, as well as bringing new friends and skills, entails the loss of all these experiences. What seems unfair is that no one else in her life shares that loss with us. Her dad’s life will stay exactly the same as he has not been involved in nursery life apart from three birthday parties and ca. 5 drop offs/pick ups. This post is not to blame him for this, this is just the way we’ve organised things because the nursery is on the university campus.

I’m just sad about losing this part of my daughter’s life and the people associated with it, and it seems really strange to be the only person in her life who will experience these changes together with her. That’s one of the downsides of having dysfunctional families I suppose.


5 Responses to “Ch-ch-changes”

  1. zankin August 22, 2012 at 12:35 am #

    😦 I go through these milestones a lot, and I’ve taken the place where I’m their emotional barrier against this kind of heart ache. It’s way not easy. This is my youngests last year before kindergarten, I find they are growing up too fast and I don’t have any replacement babies!

    • Me August 23, 2012 at 10:51 pm #

      I know, I do wonder whether having several children makes it any easier – seems not!

      • zankin August 23, 2012 at 10:58 pm #

        They must 😉 I have 4, and you don’t worry as much about the first few. Though if I had a few more then by the time I have the last going into kindergarten maybe I’d just be glad for the quiet.

  2. mel September 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

    i dropped my 3yr old little girl off this morning for her first day of nursery . this was the worst day ever . she clung to would not even look at her teacher . so teacher peeled her from me and away she went screaming for me ….there i was stood in the yard completly heart broken . i sat outside out of sight for the next hour with tears streaming dwn my face . when it was home time teacher said she took a while to calm dwn but she was ok . i need to it all again tomorrow and the next day i know but dont think i will cope well . 😦

    • attachedmummy September 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

      Aww, that sounds difficult. Is it possible for you to stay so you can play a bit and see if she gradually gets used to it? How was the settling-in process? I hope it’s going a bit better now!

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