Check it out: Feminist Values make for more stable relationships

24 Sep

Very ‘ha! In your face!’ article . Take that, government which takes advice on families and relationships from abstinence-only groups.


6 Responses to “Check it out: Feminist Values make for more stable relationships”

  1. overthinkingmind September 24, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

    Really loved the article, it is so true and your title summarises it perfectly- I could not imagine marrying someone whom I had not been intimate with and whom I hadn’t lived with; it just seems like a recipe for disaster!
    The fact that the advise comes from, as you said, abstinance groups, is ridiculous, it’s like taking advice from a girl about how to pee standing up!

    • Durante - Single Father of Four September 25, 2012 at 8:06 am #

      lol, I’m on the other side of the coin. I get why you’d want to ‘test before you buy’ but I think sex has such a possibility for creating a real connection that you don’t want to hand it out liberally, otherwise it loses value.

      • attachedmummy September 25, 2012 at 8:23 am #

        Ooh, a pro-abstinence comment on a feminist blog, controversial!

        We’ll just have to agree to disagree. Luckily, the abstinence-only movement is not as popular in the UK as it seems to be in the US, that’s why the government’s decision is so worrying for people who are in favour of women’s rights.

      • Durante - Single Father of Four September 25, 2012 at 8:35 am #

        lol, it wasn’t my intention to be controversial, just offer the different opinion. Mine came from heartache, my ex played the field, so when we were together it was only ever scratching an itch for her. Possible she had some other issues too. (I’m sure my feelings aren’t common in the US either.)

      • attachedmummy September 25, 2012 at 10:57 am #

        Sorry to hear that, that must be difficult.

        One problem with the abstinence movement is that it creates a binary of ‘purity’ on one end of the scale and ‘sluts’ on the other end. Neither of those is a concept with which I am comfortable. We’re all somewhere in between. Plus the symbolism of young girls being ‘married to Jesus’ (ie the Silver Ring Thing) is all kinds of wrong.

        I’m a big fan of playing the field/figuring out one’s actual feelings, needs and values before committing to a longterm relationship. It would be great to have the same partner for all of one’s adult life, but abstinence before marriage is not a cure for domestic violence, hidden mental health issues or general abuse.

      • overthinkingmind October 1, 2012 at 6:06 pm #

        Oh no, I’m not saying to just throw it around with everyone, I just think that if you’re contemplating marriage then it’s not going to loose it’s value as you are with someone special. Also, even if you are not thinking of getting married I do think it’s quite a crucial part of a relationship. Essentially I think that as long as you’re not just throwing it at anyone who wants it you’re fine!

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